Atheist Superstition?

I’ve been reading Carl Sagan’s The Demon Haunted World: Science As A Candle In The Dark – a terrific book that sheds a bright light on humanity’s history of superstitious thinking (ghosts, gods, UFOs, clairvoyance etc).

As if Sagan’s writing weren’t profound enough, today I learned of Bruce Hood’s Supersense: Why We Believe in the Unbelievable. The focus of the book is to ponder the reasons why we are superstitious – a look at everything from ghosts to lucky rabbits feet.

Although I haven’t read Supersense (I intend to), something in one of Mr. Hood’s interviews got me questioning whether I had any superstitious remnants left since shedding my belief in god.

Turns out I did – a rather big one. It surprised me since I thought I’d rid myself of all that.

About six years ago, my son fell of a ledge. The fall took place at one of my daughter’s dance recitals. Christopher was too full of energy to sit through the entire performance so I took him into the lobby area to work off some steam. He was just learning to walk so I watched him carefully and stayed close taking special note of the location of stairs.

But the danger was not with the stairs. The entire room was enclosed in glass topped with brass banister railings. These had been installed in six foot sections. What I didn’t know was that one of the glass sections was missing (it had broken and the facility neglected to replace it). As Christopher went from section to section, he would walk up, put his hands up and lean on the glass to look down to the floor below. Of course, when he got to the missing piece of glass, he toppled over the edge just as I was realizing the glass was missing. That moment was the most terrifying of my life as I watched, in utter horror, my son falling to his death …or so I thought.

It turned out there was a ledge just three feet down. He was bruised, but ok.

I was never the same. I had nightmares. The memory haunted me and I am sure I worried more than most parents probably worry about their kid’s safety.

To make matters worse, a few years later Christopher was admitted into the emergency ward for a mysterious locking up of his legs – he could not straighten his knees. After 12 hours in emergency, we were admitted to a room – in the children’s oncology ward. It was only several hours later when the nurses told me we were there because rooms were not available elsewhere. In other words, Christopher did not have Cancer. A few days later, Christopher’s knees just as mysteriously unlocked and we were sent home. He soon forgot about the ordeal. I did not.

To make matters even worse, almost exactly a year ago, Christopher was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic (the insulin for life variety). All of the emotions from Christopher’s fall and hospital stay re-surfaced and, as the emotions burst forth, I cried to my wife that, “I’ve always felt I would lose him”.

The feeling that I would one day lose my son was – my last truly superstitious thought – a heavy burden I carried for far too long.

I now realize that there is no reason why past experiences should translate into a superstition that has no basis in reality. The true reality is that there is NO reason for me to have this fear of the future.

This atheist is 100% done with superstition. Rationalism is firmly engrained in my psyche and I am now truly free.

You’ll have to excuse me now – I’m going to go shoot some hoops with my son.

me-chris

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August 11, 2009 · Filed Under Atheism

Comments

2 Responses to “Atheist Superstition?”

  1. Brent Rasmussen on August 12th, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Great piece, Mark. I really enjoyed reading it!
    As an atheist father myself, I’ve struggled with similar superstitions in the past. I resolved the issue much like you have – by taking it out, examining it and the reasons why I was feeling it, then dismissing it as something that I do not need to worry about any longer.
    Confronting your fears and superstitions rationally, in the full light, without the shadow and darkness of self-deception, is the best way I’ve found to deal with them.
    Kudos to you, my friend! Your boy looks like a great kid! :)

  2. Tony Tovar on August 12th, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    Very touching story, and one I could relate to.  I have a daughter with Down Syndrome and she has experienced more pain in her short life than any child should have to.  She’s had several surgeries (and infections) and has had to endure years of pain.  So I, too, have often laid awake at night wondering if I was going to lose her.
    One big difference in our experiences is that I was raised atheist.  So it never occurs to me that I might be thinking “superstitiously” though, of course, I probably am.  And I think there’s a difference between being superstitious and being emotional.  I think that being scared (emotional) is rational, provided you also realize that your fear is under your own control.
    Many people ‘blame’ their feelings on outside forces, beyond their control…

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