In Case You Wondered…
I’m alive and well, and while I’d like to say I’ve been too busy to blog, the truth is that I’ve been sidetracked with a heavy dose of existential angst / ennui and some fairly heavy depression.
What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? Why am I here? These are the age-old questions I’ve been struggling with.
When you believe in god and an afterlife, those questions I think are much more easily answered. You are alive because God blessed you with life. The meaning of your life is to do good works and honor God… I know I’m over-simplifying the theist perspective, but I think I’m fairly close to the mark.
Anyway, the absence of a god-based reason for existence, left a vacuum. And, as Spinoza said, nature abhors a vacuum – I felt compelled to fill it with something.
The short of it is that it’s all there now. My life has purpose and meaning and I am happy and at peace in my little place in the universe. Life is far more wondrous than it ever was when I was a believer. And the really awesome part is that now that I’ve got the big picture stuff sorted out, I’m ready to fill in the details (e.g. specific goals for my next 40+ years!).
Getting here was difficult, but I wouldn’t trade where I am now for anything. It’s so great to be free.
Tags: angst • ennui • exististentialism • meaning of life
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Glad to hear it
Good to have you back, Mark! Keep up the great work, I love your insights.
I tell my kids to never stop wondering. Life is a journey best lived with a sense of curiosity rather than blind folded fear.