Just Say ‘No’ to Atheist Churches

Last night I read yet another article claiming that what we atheists need are ‘churches’ where we can come together as communities. The idea, which seems to be mostly coming from ex-believers, is that we need special places where we can share a sense of community – like believers do.

I Don’t Need a Church

I don’t know about you but, even when I was a believer, I never felt that touchy-feely-church thing (that’s only a Catholic reference if you want it to be). To me, churches were mainly for understanding the world and figuring out how to live a moral life.

What I Miss

Even though I don’t pine for a church community, I do yearn for something else – that feeling of oneness  I used to have with people outside the church. Before I became an atheist, all the ‘God talk’ made me feel comfortable around people. I fit in.

After atheism? Not so much. After atheism, ‘God talk’ became uncomfortable to be around – especially with a growing awareness that it was everywhere. Everywhere I went people were talking about their faith, thanking God for blessings, saying things like “everything happens for a reason”, and proclaiming that Karma would ensure we all got what was coming to us.

Does all this sound familiar?

Choosing Our Battles

We live in a world where the majority of those around us believe in things that we do not. We know that, very often as we challenge those beliefs, we will be viewed as disrespectful, immoral destroyers of personal meaning and purpose. Perhaps it is a tired analogy, but we view these people as living in something akin to the Matrix, and that we always have two choices when considering whether to challenge their conception of reality:

  • attempt to ‘wake up’ the believer and, in doing so, risk alienation and hostility, or
  • stay quiet based on the notion that it’s not worth the effort to lock horns with those who have no desire to wake up

I tend to opt for the latter choice far more frequently than the former – a decision that avoids confrontation but that also leaves me feeling censored and frustrated. My frustration is compounded simply by having to make this choice so often. On one hand, confrontation feels like doing battle – and we all must choose the hills we die on. On the other hand, choosing avoidance can begin to feel like like death from a million cuts – slow and painful.

This is the nearly daily struggle many of us encounter with believers. Before I became an atheist, I had experienced none of it. Now, it weighs on me and is the reason I feel…out of sync with the majority. I miss being in sync.

But not enough to join an atheist church!

Besides, It’s Not All Bad

On the positive side of the equation, I feel fortunate to have non-church ways to connect with skeptical atheists. Twitter is an atheist/skeptic heaven on earth, I’ve made a number of terrific atheist Facebook friends, and Reddit is a tremendous source of information, inspiration and fun that’s crazy-easy to get hooked on.

And, yes, I’ve even gotten out and met some fellow atheists and skeptics in the real world. These functions usually happen in local pubs where everyone feels safe to share information and opinions about the world from a naturalistic perspective. I’ve been to “Atheist in the Pub” events, “Drinking Skeptically” events, and even a Virtual Drinking Skeptically event. In each of these realms of rationality, the conversation and camaraderie is charming …we even get a little shit-faced at times. But you’d have to get me a lot more shit-faced to get me into an atheist church!

Until we live in a world where religion isn’t so pervasive and the majority is in sync with us, I think these un-church meetings of the mind will be the best we can do.

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April 17, 2010 · Filed Under Atheism

Comments

10 Responses to “Just Say ‘No’ to Atheist Churches”

  1. apologus on April 17th, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Just to put it plain; we don’t need no stinking churches.  What’s the point of carrying the flag against dogma; if you are going to pretend to it yourself.  What would we do in those churches; we don’t pray; atheist can meet at McDonald if desired; as long as you got your brain – you got connections.

  2. 40 Year Old Atheist on April 17th, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    @apologus: You’re much more succinct than I am. Thanks!

  3. Ian on April 17th, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    The point of “atheist churches” is not the traditional church activities obviously – no prayers, no submission, and no child molestations – but instead the reason I think most people actually do attend church these days: community.
    While Skeptics in the Pub and similar events work well for most male atheists in the 18-35 year old range, many other atheists aren’t fully accommodated by these meetups. This includes parents and alcoholics.
    So maybe you hate the word church, but there’s no reason we can’t have buildings and community groups/centres established that are dedicated to freethought and critical thinking.

  4. 40 Year Old Atheist on April 17th, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Hey Ian, thanks for dropping by. I can appreciate what you’re saying. First, yeah, not everyone is into the bar thing. I really meant that as only an example. These sorts of meetups could just as easily take place at a Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon.

    And, you’re right, the word ‘church’ has negative connotations for me. I’d really be opposed to atheists calling their meeting places churches because of all that goes along with society’s current understanding of the word. First, because it *is* a place of worship *even* if it is also a place for community. If we start up atheist churches, the other side – especially the fundies – will attach dogma to atheism and you and I both know that there as as many kinds of atheists as there are days in the year, ideology-wise.

    I really don’t see the point in having churches. Alternatively, I do see the value in getting people together for varied reasons. A drinking get together? Great! Renting out a hall for a speaker? Great! But a ‘church’ where we get together every Sunday (again, just for illustration) is, in my mind, not going to appeal to the atheist cat herd.

    But, of course, we’ll agree to disagree. Thanks again. :)

     

  5. 40 Year Old Atheist on April 17th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    @ Ian: I just re-read the last part of your comment:

    …buildings and community groups/centres established that are dedicated to freethought and critical thinking.

    I think that subtle shift you made – calling them “centres of freethought and critical thinking” would make all the difference for me. “Atheist Church”, no. “Centre of Freethought and Critical Thinking”, yes. The name implies something a lot broader than just “We don’t believe in God(s)”.


  6. Julie on April 17th, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    I get the need for these “churches” but I agree with you that I don’t seem to lack that sense of community. That was some of what kept me from church when I was a quasi-believer. I felt church to be unwelcoming unless you were a regular.
    I also get what you say about suddenly being overwhelmed by everyday “godtalk” and I think that’s why I spend more time on Twitter/Facebook and have gone out of my way to try and find real groups of people interested in the same things that I am. I would like to see these types of pub-related activities grow to other non-alcoholic adventures (not that I don’t love wine!). It’d be nice to have skeptic or atheist hikes or day trips, book clubs and other types of community events.
    But as for the idea of an actual church, I think that just has too many stuffy correlations.

  7. dartigen on April 17th, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    When is a church not a church?
    When it’s a community hall! Though you can call whatever you like really, but community hall is more or less what a lot of atheists seem to want. Community halls get to have a lot more than a church too – my local one has movie nights, holiday programmes, short courses for older people, a literary club, and a heap of other stuff. While I’m not saying a church can’t have those, most of them just don’t. You also get a lot more flexibility for meetup times, depending on when people are working and when they can make it.
    It doesn’t necessarily need to be built (unless there isn’t one already) but I’m sure that most community halls won’t object to a small group hiring a room once a week.

  8. guessimgoin2hell on April 17th, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    I really enjoyed your article.  I’ve having a backlash right now from a friend because I “hurt” her by posting on facebook that I have no place for religion in my life.  I’m tired of listening to all this rhetoric, it is everywhere.  More than that it’s not as simple as to each his own.  In a world where we have an 8 year regression on stem cell reseach and making a green planet, it’s apparent so many levels we are all affected by the believers

  9. God is Pretend on May 6th, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Are people suggesting that atheists need an actual church-type building in which to meet regularly?

    The way I’ve always interpreted when people use a term like “atheist church” is any social gathering where there will be primarily atheists or other non-believers; things like Drinking Skeptically.

    I’ve never met anyone who has advocated an actual weekly or otherwise meeting of atheists in a church type setting with that kind of hierarchical structure. But living in the Bible Belt most of my adult life, it has been my only bastion of sanity to attend social events with other atheists.

  10. Stephen Buck on May 11th, 2010 at 9:09 am

    I agree mostly with the problems of atheist churches. The North Texas Church of Freethought recently experienced a major exodus as a result of two cults of personality. Sound typical? You bet. On the economic side, however, people are accustomed to choices. Restaurants locate together generating more revenue than if they were separated, simply because they “feed off of one another”, pun intended. So, when someone is choosing a church, free thought isn’t typically on the menu, isn’t located next to another church, and is therefore not considered. So, imagine a serious branding/franchising attempt at a secular community center, church, or whatever you call it, but location sites must be strategically located next to major churches, they should be listed alongside churches in phone books, search engines, and other listings, and must otherwise provide alternate choice in a very similar format to what they are competing with, so that people simply have choice. While I consider choice as visiting the Museum of Science and Natural History on Sunday morning, the average religious consumer does not. They are looking to slot their Sunday time, go to lunch with family, friends and community, and to feel good for having done so. That calls for redefining what “church” means, just as restaurants have continually battled over what “fast food” means.

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