One Atheist’s Perspective on Prayers

With the scare I had over my son becoming a diabetic, I had a number of friends say they were praying for Christopher and my family.

I know some atheists take a really hard line on anything to do with religion – including prayer (e.g. “I don’t want anyone praying for me”) whereas I’m softer on the whole thing. As a “Dawkins” atheist, I know all about the argument that there is a slippery slope between the average, well-meaning, good Christian, and wacky fundamentalists. However, I am not quite as militant about the former kind simply because I don’t think they are bad people. Incorrect, yes. Bad, no.

In fact, they mean well. They mean to help. I can’t fault them for that. I’m happy and grateful they have concern for me and my family.

If someone says, “I’m praying for you”, the translator in my head hears, “I am thinking about your family and hoping for the best”.

In my view, the only difference between them and me is that they believe there is someone “up there” listening to those prayers whereas, of course, I don’t.

Thinking about this makes me wonder … to those of you who do take a hard line, how do you reject a prayer?

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July 28, 2008 · Filed Under Atheism, Religion

Comments

8 Responses to “One Atheist’s Perspective on Prayers”

  1. GentlePath on July 29th, 2008 at 8:42 am

    I have that same translator in my head! I don’t reject them or their prayers, just like I say thank you when I get an awful birthday present. 

    There was one person though – my internal translator told me that her telling me that she would pray for me was a “f-you” gesture that I couldn’t politely counter. I see that a lot online from Christians that troll atheist blogs and boards: prayer as “the finger.” When that’s the case, I usually just block them. Occasionally I will point out what they’re really doing, but usually it’s not worth the bother.

  2. Mark on July 29th, 2008 at 11:52 am

    Thanks GentlePath,

    I think that’s a good distinction. Sometimes the “I’ll pray for you” statement is loaded with “You are wrong/bad/evil and my praying for you puts me on higher ground”.

    That said, in this case all my friends have the best of intentions.

  3. Anton Kozlik on August 29th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Hi Gang,
        I am a cancer survivor (different types, different times). I live in a large apartment building. Several of the inhabitants went out of their way to say that they were praying for me. When my treatments were successful, they liked to point out to me that I had been saved by their prayers. I responded with “tell me another joke!”. While I was undergoing that treatment their “good wishes” never resulted in a knock on my door with a bowl of soup. I think prayer is easier than making an extra bowl of soup. I did, however, receive numberous e-mails from Atheist friends all over the world as they kept my mind off of my cancer with jokes, riddles and thought provoking questions. I have a Christian associate in this building. He, too, has cancer. They prayed for him . . . but never brought the soup for him either. I shared my e-mails with him. He says that he sure could have used a few bowls of soup. Also, he isn’t doing so good.

  4. Volly on September 7th, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    I reject the notion of the sentient deity, but I’m also a Unitarian Universalist and as such, have come to understand that 3 people can look you in the eye and say they’re “praying” for you, but if you took each of them aside and asked them to describe what they mean by this, you are almost guaranteed to get 3 different answers (providing they are being honest, of course).  My UU involvement has enabled me to understand unity in diversity and to respect the inherent worth and dignity of every person, even when we don’t share the same ideology.

    I believe in an ordered universe – when believers ask “Well, who ordered it, then?” I am quite comfortable saying I have no idea and furthermore I don’t care, but if there is a “who,” it bears no resemblance to the character portrayed in the Bobble.  But the universe is orderly enough to provide predictable outcomes.  There is, however, a catch, and it’s what makes the universe awesome and wondrous:  Sometimes the universe makes exceptions, throws us a curve, or gives us a break.  And that is what is meant by “a miracle.”

    And I think that for a great many people, this instinctive knowledge that the unexpected and unlikely could happen, is what lies at the heart of most prayer. 

    I don’t interrogate people with “What exactly do you  mean by prayer?  If you’re bringing the Bobble or that Jesus fella into it, don’t bother!”    I just smile, assume they mean it the way I do, and say thanks.

    It can’t hurt. 

    Now, if they hand me a tract, all bets are off!

  5. nathan on September 26th, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    I usually just laugh

  6. ln on November 14th, 2008 at 1:46 am

    Prayer is the means by which: a) people shrug off the responsibility of true compassion and humanity by placing that burden on some apparent “god” entity who will make everything peachy-keen, or b) people who don’t really give a shit can dishonestly appear to care.

    My view is that words and intentions are meaningless; action and consequence are what matter.  It has been said that the worst kind of evil is when good men do nothing.

  7. ln on November 14th, 2008 at 1:57 am

    I should follow up.  My argument above is an ontological one… In practice, I don’t necessarily view people who pray and do nothing else with disdain.

    While I view it as an insincere jest unless backed up with, say, a bowl of soup, I’ve never vocally rejected a prayer offer.  Doing so, I think, is rude and infantile.  Many of them think they’re doing the best they can do — to whom more superior than a god, after all, would they appeal? — but they don’t realize it’s what they aren’t doing that matters.

  8. Doug on April 23rd, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    In that circumstance, dire consequences, I haven’t rejected a prayer. When it was said as a gesture of (frankly rather crappy and useless) goodwill after I’ve helped someone one, I sometimes say “I am an atheist, could you give a bum a sandwich for me instead?”

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