I’m amazed at the ability of the Godfull to miss the point and make false statements and generalizations about how atheists become atheists.

The thought is on my mind because a theology student recently asked me to answer some survey questions (he’d been assigned an “interview an atheist” project). I’m not sure if the questions were his own, or if they’d been fed to him by a professor, but the bias in them hurt my brain and caused me to feed on baby flesh.

Anyway, while all the questions had bias (I may post the others later), one in particular got my goat:

James Spiegel wrote in The Making of an Atheist that most people are atheists or agnostics because either one or both of the following are true: (1) there was a major disaster earlier in life that made the person angry toward God (perhaps a death of a loved one or disappointment with some people in the church), (2) the person simply does not want God to be a part of their life. Do either of these descriptions fit why you think there is no God? When did you become an atheist/agnostic, and what would you say brought this about?

Not Enough Options

The claim that there are only two options is incorrect. Including those mentioned above, I can think of four possibilities (I’m probably missing some):

1. A person could grow up in an atheist household and know virtually nothing about religion or god.
2. A person could use rational thinking and an examination of evidence and history to conclude there is no god.
3. There was a major disaster earlier in life that made the person angry toward God (perhaps a death of a loved one or disappointment with some people in the church (part of the original question).
4. The person simply does not want God to be a part of their life (also part of the original question).

Analysis

1. Why does the author see only points 3 & 4 as possible reasons for a person being an atheist? Is it because he is a shallow thinker? Or is it because he is purposefully misleading his readers?
2. Both reasons 3 & 4 mischaracterize what it means to be an atheist:
   • Definition of an Atheist: A person who does not believe in the existence of deities (Christian, Islamic, Judaic, Hindu, Greek & Roman gods – among thousands of other deities – all included).
   • Author’s Definition (my interpretation): A person who has been alienated from, or is angry with God and who, as a result, has decided to force god’s existence from their minds by an act of mental will.
   • The author’s definition seems very similar to a person who is angry with their father and decides to shut him out of their lives. Note that, in this example, the father still exists, but he is avoided or ignored or pushed far away from the person’s daily life and thoughts.
   • The author’s conceptualization of what an atheist is, is a grossly ignorant, dishonest misrepresentation of the concept. Atheism is simply a lack of belief in deities. It is not an emotional rejection of something a person knows to exist.

One More Thing

It is entirely possible for a person to begin their journey toward atheism based on an emotional/traumatic event, but to arrive at their destination based on rational thinking. In other words, emotion can be the trigger that leads to further investigation, that leads to a weighing of evidence, that leads to a non-emotion based abandonment of belief.

In my case, I became an atheist at 40 years of age after a lifetime of trying to believe. Certainly, there were troubling events in my life, but they did not solely lead to my atheism. My decision to abandon belief in god was based on the combined impact of these major findings (among others):

1. That religions do not adequately explain the problem of evil.
2. That there is no evidence for any god or deity.
3. That the existence of thousands of religions – all claiming to be the exclusive holders of truth and none of them providing compelling evidence for their claim suggests that none of their claims are to be trusted.

It’s important to realize that, for a long time, I really wanted to believe but, the more investigation I did, the less I was able to stomach the Kool-Aid.

One More, One More Thing

We are not mad at God. We simply do not think your god exists. Would you accept my claim that you are angry at glow-in-the-dark, spacesuit-wearing six-legged chickens? Or that you are mad at the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

No? Well, now you know how ridiculous we view your claim that “atheists are just mad at God”.

Ok, a slight exaggeration but watching the video below was, quite frankly, maddening.

It’s the part where she says, “Maybe you believe and you don’t know you believe” which translates to me as “I can’t conceive that you really don’t believe in God, therefore, you must be in denial – you really believe – you just don’t know it”.

Oprah, you’ve just insulted a large number of atheists but, just in case you don’t know why your words are insulting, replace “God” with “Xenu” and pretend you are the one being interviewed.

Got it?

Sure, we all have our moments (I certain have them) when we just want to grab believers by the neck and choke the belief system out of them.

But many of us also know how hard it is to shed one’s belief in god. The following post on Reddit does a far better job than I ever have of conveying this message. The bonus is just how many atheists chimed in to vigorously agree. Click on the link below to see for yourself.

Atheism vs Theism may seem like a battle of wits involving only science, and debate. The real truth is far deeper and darker than this, and anyone who considers discussing atheism with a “person of faith” should consider this: : atheism.

Search for “Dawkins” or “The God Delusion” on this blog and you’ll quickly learn that my de-conversion to atheism was connected to those two terms. Of course, I’m not alone.

But, does being a Dawkins convert also mean that I think believers are suffering from a delusion?

Answer: It depends.

One definition of the delusion is: “An erroneous belief that is held in the face of evidence to the contrary.”

I’m guessing there are a few possibilities for that “erroneous belief” of yours:

1. You have not heard all of the evidence. You might have been exposed to a lifetime of information from the believer side of the equation, with little to no exposure to the opposing viewpoint. In other words, you are ignorant of the arguments against your belief in God. You are NOT DELUSIONAL.
2. You do not understand the evidence – a sort of variation on ignorance. The best example here might be that you misunderstand how science refutes your belief – perhaps you are a creationist who misunderstands how evolution works. Based on this misconception, your beliefs in creationism and god are based on that misconception. You are NOT DELUSIONAL. Wrong, but not delusional.
3. You were raised to believe in God and have never really put much thought into it. God is sort of a default position that doesn’t occupy your thoughts to any meaningful degree. You are NOT DELUSIONAL. I think most people are like you.
4. You’ve heard and understood the evidence, have put considerable thought into the problem and still believe in God. Sorry, but you ARE DELUSIONAL.

So, now that I’ve only got 25% of you mad at me, let’s talk about why you might be clinging to your beliefs so firmly – even “in the face of evidence to the contrary“.

1. Belief is the lynch-pin of your entire world view: It’s known that, when their beliefs crumble, many fundamentalists don’t just abandon creationism, they go all the way toward atheism. That’s because the black and white all-or-nothing nature of their belief system leads them to reject all that they learned. Subconsciously, they know this, so they fight the evidence against their position tooth and nail. They are afraid that, if their belief system is wrong, their life is without meaning. (In contrast, when people whose world views are less literal have a crisis of belief, they tend to adopt even more liberal religious viewpoints. Some even become deists. Their religious views evolve, whereas fundamentalist views simply collapse.)
2. You are afraid of death: Yes, I know – it’s a blanket statement that makes some people angry to hear, but the fact is that most people are afraid of death (or the death of loved ones) and will do everything they can to avoid letting go of their hope for immortality.
3. Peer Pressure: Your family believes. Your friends believe. Over 80% of your country believes. It’s hard to go against the grain. After all, you’ll be an outcast – right?
4. To all you atheists out there, help me out – what would you put here?
5. I’m sure I’ve missed more than one reason. Please repeat the instructions shown in #4.

So there you have it. Some of you are delusional. But, you know, being delusional is not that bad. After all, many very smart people have been delusional about something. No one is saying you are stupid – just that you may have a logical blind spot. We also think that you have the capacity to reason your way through this. All you have to do is let go of your fear, embrace a more evidence-based method of understanding the universe, and try.

The rest of you may just need to do a bit more reading.

I’m increasingly bothered in some of my regular hangouts – places like the Atheism Reddit, YouTube and some atheist blogs. To my disappointment, I’m even bothered by some of my own writings.

What’s bugging me is the arrogant, condescending attitude we often have toward believers. Certainly not everyone is guilty of this and, of those, not everyone is guilty all the time but it is, in my estimation, still too prevalent.

You’d be right to say that we atheists are often the object of arrogance and disrespect and that all we’re doing is a tit-for-tat thing but, do two wrongs make a right? Do you really want to have that kind of dialogue?

7 Pillars I Try to Live My Life By was my first shot at conveying that, although I have no belief in god, I do have values that might connect with people examining their own beliefs. And that’s what I think we should be striving for – to connect and demonstrate alternative world views, and communicate that we do not lead empty, uncaring, valueless lives.

Perhaps more importantly, is a group of people who speak degradingly of others a group that someone questioning their faith would want to be a part of?

One of my pillars is being empathetic to others, but I think compassion and being humble are also important when it comes to discussing atheism. Overall, I’d rather be empathetic and treat people with compassion, than add fuel to the theist-atheist fire.

Of course, in doing so, I’m sure there will be those who do not respond in kind. That’s ok. The conversations I want to have are with people exploring belief versus non-belief in a non-combative manner, and I think that those people will turn away from discussing atheism if all they see from the messenger is arrogance and condescension.

So, I’m going to take one out of that book many of us like to ridicule and turn the other cheek.

My Pledge: If you’re coming here to learn about atheism, I will give my best effort to always treat you with respect. I hope you’ll afford me the same courtesy.

I’m not interested at all in patting myself and other atheists on the back for being more clever than “those poor, dumb, deluded religious people”. No, to spread atheism, we don’t need an ego building initiative – we need to convince others that there are hope-filled, meaningful alternatives to being religious.

I understand that for questioning theists, a leap of unfaith can be a difficult and scary thing. I’m here to respect – not denigrate – that challenge.